Is There A Doctor In The (Production) House?
As I look upon my 2-month old girl’s cherubic little face cranked on a 45-degree angle in a state of blissful slumber I check to see what has lulled her into this state of unconsciousness.Then I hear from the television “I love you, you love me…we’re a happy family”. In the immortal words of Snagglepuss, “Heavens to Mergatroid!” Barney has infiltrated our house. Don’t get me wrong but when it comes to purple dinosaurs the cool factor definitely lies with Dino from The Flintstones.
I have now made two cartoon references that clearly indicate I grew up just after the Dark Ages! However, while standing in the living room watching the latest model in mauve monsters perform its televised mind-meld I realized that I still like to dress up and pretend. But these days I call it acting…or a reasonable facsimile.
As noted in a previous posting I’m usually cast in television commercials and movie roles as a news anchor, reporter, sportscaster or weatherman. My actual career history has helped me pull off a believable interpretation of those roles.
However, the last couple of auditions my agent sent me to called for me to play a doctor! (Ed. note: Not to be confused with “playing doctor”. That’s a different type of film role 
If I actually nailed the role of doctor no one would be more pleased than my mother. At least she could tell friends her son was a doctor…temporarily!
Sadly, that brief claim to fame was not realized on the last couple of stabs (excuse the reference). In one spot, I was to play a physician flogging NicoDerm to help people stop smoking. My honey, Marlene, suggested I call our neighbour and ask to borrow one of his lab coats as a wardrobe prop. Brilliant idea! If I look like a doctor and sound like a doctor I will definitely be cast as a doctor. Dillusional.
Our neighbour is a young research scientist at the University of Toronto working to find breakthroughs in the cure for Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. Now, HIS mother is certainly proud. He was more than happy to lend me the white lab coat. I wore it to the audition. I did my thing and then, as always, you wait to hear back from the agent. If you don’t get a call it simply means the part went elsewhere.
While waiting with bated breath by the phone I had another audition as an M.D. This time it was a spot for American cable playing the part of a gastroenterologist. (Ed. note: I play the part in an amateur fashion with my baby girl at home so I have a bit of experience.)
This time the production house actually supplied the white lab coat. Once again, I performed to the best of my acting ability and nailed the dialogue. Then I returned to the “waiting room” known as my home office. I waited for my agent to ring but no house calls. I’m OK with that. There will be other shots. (Note all the blatant medical puns!)
Perhaps my prognosis is better sticking with the reporter and newscaster roles. One thing the client stipulated is that “the actor must look like an actual doctor, one that you would trust and want to see.”
would you honestly trust your health and well being to this man?