You’re Gonna Stick That Where?!
I’m thrilled to be back in the voice over game again! I was taken out of commission for a while by something you pretty much need in the VO biz if you’d like to be somewhat successful. It’s a little thing called a vocal cord.
My appendectomy back in March also turned out to be something of a vocal cordectomy for all intents and purposes. Whoever coined the phrase “luck of the Irish” was truly a comedian. The principles of Murphy’s Law seem more applicable in my life sometimes.
So, the story goes that I was in hospital for two weeks for something that should have really only been two days! I started feeling abdominal pain on a Tuesday night. Wednesday evening I still had it and naively thought it was heartburn. I popped a couple of Tums and hit the sack.
Thursday rolls around and the pesky pain persists. I start poking and prodding my gut which causes me to whince. When was the last time you whinced? I believe “whine” is the root word. So, I stopped all my whincing and called a cab to head to hospital.
I later heard that I should have called an ambulance for myself because emergency staff are more prone to check you out, or check you in, immediately. I wish I had heard that little piece of wisdom earlier because I ended up waiting over eight hours until I was admitted! I’m convinced it was during this time that my appendix had had enough of the wait.
A routine appendectomy now became an excrutiatingly painful and messy ruptured appendix scenario with peritonitis as a side dish. To make a long story short (yeah, I know, too late), it was either the infection or the intubation that knocked out my left vocal cord.
Say WHAT?!
Go figure. Not common but it does happen. Really bites, however, when the little fleshy membrane is key to paying the bills. Yes, having your vocal cord paralyzed when you’re a voice artist is like having your hands broken when you’re a surgeon.
I left the hospital and my voice truly was mono! I had no idea when it would spring back into action. I saw ENT specialists and speech pathologists. I had cameras down my throat and CAT scans. The diagnosis was consistent. The prognosis was uncertain. The left cord was certainly paralyzed and there was no telling when it might come back to play. Some speculated a month to a year. Maybe never.
Not liking the last option I called all members to the healing team. Hell, I was ready to call the local witch doctor! I had entertained all plans of attack from western medicine and decided to head east. Hey, the Chinese have been practicing medicine for about 4800 years longer. Perhaps they had something up their sleeve for my condition.
I had an acupuncture treatment by one of the best (in the west) and was prescribed a mixture of Chinese herbs and vitamins. Maybe I wanted it to work so badly that it had a psychological effect on me. Regardless, my voice started sounding better almost instantly. Days later…weeks later, now, it is back in a zone where I’m able to record again.
The left cord is still paralyzed, and I’m confident it will return eventually, but the ancient art is bringing out the best in the right cord enough to keep the creditors off my back.
I now almost look forward to my acupuncture treatments. I lie down for a half hour and become a human pin cushion but I’m back in the booth and belting it out once again.
I love happy endings